Reader Question:

Me: 46 years old, African-American male, specialist profession, homeowner, good married couple looking for girlfriend, 20-year-old daughter. I date outside of my race. I’m in very good shape.

This indicates approximately women want to have a committed relationship, they don’t wish to invest in me. I really do have a “list” of desirable characteristics â?? appealing, in a position to handle the woman funds, a social or nondrinker and somebody who is actually eager and able to travel and do things.

Just why is it difficult for women to commit when I give outward signs of planning to be in a committed relationship?

-Mark (Ca)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Indeed, too many women are behaving like guys (or how they THINK guys act) and tend to be preventing devotion. Having said that, i shall let you know you may still find more women who want a protected accessory than not.

I am thinking precisely why you might seem getting attracted to women who eliminate a solid connection. Could this become your choice in targets?

My advice will be to talk to women that you will most likely not in the beginning be attracted to and see in the event that you limber up in their eyes. Sometimes our very own failure to get a protected connection relates to all of our concerns of abandonment.

This means that, we opted for associates who can not get near to shield us from becoming “dangerously” close and exposure abandonment.

Decide to try internet dating the kind of person you have never, actually dated before. Go-slow. And look closely at your feelings in the process.

Do you ever become quickly envious, should control the woman time or wish seal the deal too fast? The secret to success is always to contain yourself and quell your concerns.

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